


The Heroes Before Christmas

by lornrocks



Category: Fandom: Heroes, The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993)
Genre: Crossover, I Don't Even Know, M/M, dumb, haha - Freeform, ihavenoidea, nightmarebeforechristmas, sort of, stopdoingcracklauren
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-06-25
Updated: 2013-06-25
Packaged: 2017-12-16 03:43:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,597
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/857379
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lornrocks/pseuds/lornrocks
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm not even sure where the hell this idea came from, but I got the crazy idea to write a Heroes fic where it was like the Nightmare Before Christmas. Yeah, I don't know.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Heroes Before Christmas

**Disembodied narrator:**   
_A long time ago, longer now than it seems, is a place you've perhaps seen in your dreams. For the story that you're about to be told takes place in the holiday worlds of old. Now, you're probably wondering where holidays come from._

_If you haven't, I say it's time you begun..._

[Scene opens in a creepy forest of a land we now understand to be Halloweentown. There are scarecrows, ghosts, vampires, all that. At the end of the musical number, a man rises out of the fountain looking rather...pale.]

 **Peter the Pumpkin King:** Hey guys! That was a really great job tonight! We scared some people and whatever, and ate candy...It was awesome.

 **Some witch:** YOU ARE SO AMAZING, PETER

 **Other witch:** Are you single?

 **Peter:** ....I have to go.

[Mayor Petrelli starts babbling about prizes and distracts everyone, allowing Peter to make his escape. He wanders into a nearby cemetery.]

[Meanwhile, Sylar, a ragman with a penchant for making things, jumping off buildings, and seeing the future escapes from his maker, Professor Mohinder]

 **Prof. Mohinder:** You're not ready for this!

 **Sylar:** Yes I am!

 **Prof. Mohinder:** No you're not! And I maybe want you for myself.

 **Sylar:** ....I have to go.

[He runs off and follows Peter, who is hanging out in a cemetery.]

 **Peter:** [to Mr. Muggles, his trusty ghost dog] I love doing this and all, but I can't help feel like something is missing. You know what I mean?

 **Mr. Muggles:** ....

 **Peter:** Guess not.

 **Sylar:** [from behind a tombstone] I know exactly how you feel!

 **Peter:** [looks around] Did you hear something?

 **Mr. Muggles:** ....Bark?

[Mr. Muggles is trying to explain to Peter that some creeper followed them, but unfortunately, his human needs a little work. Peter gives up and leaves.]

 **Sylar:** *dreamy sigh*

[So then Peter wanders off and stumbles on some magical land called Christmastown where they make Christmas stuff. He's amazed and just a little turned on by all the colors and happiness. He figures out that these people help make people happy by making things to give them on some holiday that occurs two months after their own. He is intrigued.]

 **Peter:** This is amazing! [runs into pole]

[No one ever said he was bright.]

 **Parkman Claws:** HO HO HO!

 **Peter:** WOAH NO WAY

[Meanwhile, the town is in an uproar because no one's seen Peter for like, twelve hours. He could be sleeping. Did they think to check his house? Of course not. Because Mayor Petrelli is not the brightest jack o lantern in the bunch.]

 **Mayor Petrelli:** WE HAVE TO FIND PETER OMG I CANNOT MAKE DECISIONS BY MYSELF

 **Some vampire:** Dude, calm down. He's probably sleeping or partying or something-

 **Mayor Petrelli:** *cries*

[Just then, Mr. Muggles comes floating by, barking like mad. He means to say, "It's okay, my master is here now!" but it comes out more like "Arf arf arf".]

 **Mr. Muggles:** ...Sigh.

[Peter appears carrying boatloads of stuff that he stole from Christmastown when he trespassed and broke into people's houses. Hey, it's a process, okay?]

 **Peter:** HEY GUYS LOOK I FOUND THIS STUFF WE CAN USE IT TOWN MEETING OKAY

 **Mayor Petrelli:** Yeah, okay.

[Everyone goes to a town meeting where Peter attempts to explain his grand plan for helping people with the glory of Christmas, or something. Unfortunately, no one seems to get it.]

 **Peter:** So we give them presents!

 **Some devil guy:** And then they give us one, right?

 **Peter:** No, we give them the presents and OUR present is the feeling we get for making them happy!

 **Some devil guy:** That's lame.

 **Peter:**...

[So then Peter decides that he has to figure out a better way to explain this to everyone. He decides to pay Professor Mohinder a visit.]

 **Peter:** Hey Prof. Mohinder, can I borrow some scientific equipment?

 **Prof. Mohinder:** For what?

 **Peter:** I'm trying to explain Christmas to people.

 **Prof. Mohinder:** ...How does scientific equipment help you do that, exactly?

 **Peter:** It just will, okay?

[So Peter borrows some equipment, and Sylar overhears. He finds this really interesting.]

[Peter attempts to do some science. Sylar, who threw himself out a window, sends up a basket full of goodies to Peter, namely, an old pocket watch, a slice of pie, and someone's brain. Peter finds this really sweet.]

 **Peter:** Oh hey, thanks Sylar...uh, where did he go?

[Sylar has hidden because he's shy, or something. Just then, he has a vision of how ridiculously bad Peter's whole "Christmas" thing is going to be. He may or may not explode.]

**Sylar:** _Oh shit._

[So then Peter convinces everyone that this is going to be TOTALLY AWESOME and they work on doing their thing. He sends for Adam, Daphne, and Edgar, who are known to do whatever you ask for the right price.]

 **Peter:** So I need you guys to go kidnap someone for me.

 **Adam, Daphne, and Edgar:** Awesome!

 **Peter:** But, don't hurt him.

 **Adam, Daphne, and Edgar:** Yeah, okay, whatever.

[They leave to go kidnap Parkman Claws.]

[Preparations continue. Sylar continues to feel a weird sense of foreboding. Adam, Daphne, and Edgar return with their supposed kidnap victim.]

 **Adam, Daphne, Edgar:** We caught him!

[They open the bag. A giant bunny man pops out.]

 **Hiro Bunny:** AAAAAH WHUT

 **Peter:** Oh, come on. That's not even remotely close to Parkman Claws.

 **Adam:** But we went to the door like you said!

 **Peter:** Which one?

 **Daphne:** The one shaped like an oval?

 **Peter:** You idiots, I said the one shaped like a TREE. A TREE.

 **Adam, Daphne, and Edgar:** ...Oh.

[They leave to get the right one.]

 **Peter:** I swear, good help these days...

[So then finally it's Christmas Eve and Sylar is helping fix Peter's suit.]

 **Sylar:** Peter, this isn't right. I have a bad feeling.

 **Peter:** Nonsense, this costume is way legit.

 **Sylar:** No, I mean...I think this Christmas thing will be a disaster.

 **Peter:** Now why would-

[He gets interrupted by Adam, Daphne, and Edgar, who bring over the real Parkman Claws.]

 **Peter:** Sweet! So, um, hey, we're kind of taking over Christmas. So you just chill and do whatever, kay?

 **Parkman Claws:** What..? No! You can-

[He gets cut off when he gets shoved back into the bag.]

 **Peter:** Yeah, this is going to be AWESOME.

[So then the inhabitants of Halloweentown continue working on their Xmas Eve preparations and Adam, Daphne, and Edgar take Parkman Claws to their boss, Samuel the Boogie Man.]

 **Samuel the Boogie Man:** Well hello there, care to play a little game?

 **Parkman Claws:** Does it have homoerotic undertones?

 **Samuel:** ...Possibly.

 **Parkman Claws:** Then no.

[Samuel the Boogie Man gets mad by this and decides he's going to kill Parkman Claws by dumping him into a vat of dirt and smothering him. Very, very slowly.]

[Meanwhile, Peter and the gang are trying to fly off in their sleigh. Sylar tries to sabotage the sleigh from flying by keeping it on the ground with his mind. Unfortunately, just then an old hag named Mrs. Petrelli walks by and starts rubbing up and telling him he's her son. Peter flies away because the sleigh is no longer being held down.]

 **Sylar:** Dang it.

[He goes off to sit in the cemetery, mope, an pet a random cat. And no, that's not a metaphor.]

 **Sylar:** FML.

[Predictably, Peter screws shit up, because let's face it, that's just what he does. When Sylar sees how bad this is going, he decides to go find Parkman Claws and steal his power ask for help.]

 **Samuel:** So, before I kill you, what's your sign?

[Just then, a long leg sticks itself through the window of Samuel's lair and starts shaking around.]

 **Samuel:** Oh, daddy like.

[He goes to fondle the leg. Apparently the Boogie Man has a foot fetish, who knew? Anyway, Sylar goes with the rest of his body to untie Parkman Claws. Unfortunately, Samuel catches on and ties them both up.]

 **Sylar:** Dang it.

[So then Peter gets blown up and he's really bummed but then he remembers how badass he is and he goes back to Halloweentown through a convenient portal in the cemetery that anyone can stumble on. Whatever. So he goes to save Parkman Claws.]

 **Parkman Claws and Sylar:** SOMEONE SAVE US

 **Samuel:** Oh, shut up.

[He goes to drop them in the dirt faster.]

 **Sylar:** ....why do I have the weirdest feeling of deja vu?

[Just then, Peter busts in and somehow saves the day. Parkman Claws looks mad.]

 **Parkman Claws:** Seriously? Seriously?

 **Peter:** I'm sorry I messed up, bro.

 **Parkman Claws:** Jesus. I'm going to go fix this.

[He leaves.]

 **Peter:** Sylar, how did you get down here?

 **Sylar:** Well, uh...you see, I was trying to....well, I knew you'd mess up and...

 **Peter:** You were trying to help me?

[They stare longingly into each other's eyes. They're about to kiss when suddenly one giant cock block known as Mayor Petrelli busts in and is all OMG PETER YOU'RE NOT DEAD. They all go off to town square to celebrate.]

 **Peter:** Hey, it's Parkman Claws! Merry Christmas!

 **Parkman Claws:** Happy Halloween, you fucktard. [flies away]

 **Townspeople:** WTF SNOW

[Everyone has fun in the snow. Peter notices Sylar slipping off and follows him to the curly hill.]

 **Peter:** So hey, I know I ignored you until now, but I think we could make beautiful music together.

 **Sylar:** Hell yes.

[They kiss under the moonlight. Mr. Muggles flies away barking, meaning to say something like "Get a room!" Fade to black. The end.]

**Author's Note:**

> Written forever ago for LJ.


End file.
